Time to get a grip - Saturday March 26, 2011

Yes.. its time to stop worrying about some worthless things and to step up my game. I have been sulking way too much and way too often and I need to change this habit. The feeling of failing and getting a rejection must GO AWAY. I need to rid this evil out of myself and change myself... for the better of course. From tomorrow on, its going to be a new me. A person who is not afraid to lose, not afraid to get embarassed and is a kind person who aims to never hurt himself or anyone either.

Also from tomorrow I gotta work work work because I have such a tight schedule ahead of my this week.

Monday: Calc Test, Financial Securities Test

Tuesday: blah blah

Wednesday: Econ Test, Accounting Quiz

Thursday: blah blah

Friday: blah blah

Saturday: AFMAA for Waterloo University Program

Gotta study and work hard for my future and for my own selfish good. Yea thats right, I'm gonna have the confidence to SHOUT TO THE WORLD! yea.. weird but Im not gonna let myself sit there and let people race ahead of me.!

Suzuka - Tuesday March 22, 2011

Dam, I get addicted to things so easily. I read 166 chapters of manga in 2 days time. But honestly it was so good that I couldn't stop myself. Suzuka... what a great manga. I really loved the storyline and hope that one day their story can become my story.

March Break End - Sunday March 20, 2011

As I enjoy my last few hours of march break or the last few hours before school starts... I ask myself.. what have I actually done during march break. Except for watching dramas and playing, I have practically got nothing done and so I am looking forward to school now, to get some learning done and to get better. But having March Break does have its good points because I actually feel so well-rested right now. I doubt I will be able to say that when school starts though. The upcoming all-nighters will certainly terrify me but I will take them on! (with coffee of course)

Finished watching Nodame Cantabile and honestly it is the best movie that I have watched. It put me in tears and put me in happiness throughout the story. Although it was short with only 4 episodes with 2 hours duration, I really loved it. Honestly, I loved the girl character, Nadame. She is so cute and her personality is so adorable. Man.... I wish my relationship could be like that. If only if only, and just seeing her, shes so cute with her japanese voice.

It also taught me a lot too. Firstly, I must always work hard because there will be times you can't (or something related to that. Gotta rewatch the last episode to catch what the character says again). The second one was how even though you tried your best achieving those results, you must continue to aim higher and not be too full of yourself.

Lastly I really want to aspire to be the male main character, a kind and handsome man.

March Break Part 3 - Saturday March 19, 2011

Wow... i wake up with a really really big and painful neck and have been experiencing neck pain ever since. It hurts to move my neck backwards... I guess that's what I get for sleeping so much... but still... i don't think i deserve neck pain for that.

Today... i just got hated on by my parents. Like totally... they keep yelling me at every single thing I do. Like about university.... they suddenly tell me that of the 5 universities that I had applied to... they will only pay for $6,000 for the tuition since that is the cost of the cheapest university aka York in their opinion. Im like wtf... what about the more expensive ones like the $13,000 ones like Queens or Western.... How am I going to pay for that? I guess I gotta start saving up because my parents won't do anything for me... such selfish and foolish people. The reason I intend to go for Queens or Western is because they are actually good schools although they are a little more expensive. If you don't pay more, how will you get a better education? but thats not what they think. They think its best to go by the cheapest ways. I would rather be in a big debt and be able to get a job than not even finding a job after graduating. Thats why, I have made up my mind and im aiming for those schools no matter what. No matter what they say, screw them, i aint listening to them ever again. They are so foolish and dumb, everything they say... even though I prove them wrong, they just say " you need to listen to us because your not a man". Im like SCREW OFF, Im 17, i can make my own decisions.... but still im trapped in their house and i gotta listen to their rules. I hate that... so I have to move out. FOR SURE.

Finished my previous manga and moving on to a new one. Suzuka!

I love their storylines... just gives me so much inspiration and motivation to be like them. To be a kind and caring boy like the main character.

March Break Part 3 - Friday March 18, 2011

Sigh... its nearing the end of march break already.. and im starting to miss it... but life goes on and now i must tackle the challenges that face me. Of course im not gonna give u without a fight. This march break... i have been thinking and thinking and really I need to muster some courage and have some confidence in myself... otherwise.. what will other people think of me.

I also read 126 chapters of Kimi no Iru Machi... (practically reading it for 1 day straight) but it was so good that I couldn't stop myself. This manga brought me such a good feeling because the main character is so kind and stuff. I really look up to him and admire him. He is my role model and I wanna be like him. It also renews my fighting spirit within me and now I wanna keep fighting it!

After that I went to fellowship for the first time and we played beach volleyball. Although it was indoors, it was fun and I gradually got better at it. Was able to actually serve and hit it. Im so proud hahaha. and now im all sandy and tired.

That's all for today!

March Break Part 2 - Wednesday March, 16, 2011

I find it great to finally have a break, where we can recuperate and think things through properly. Though I think I'm starting to fall behind in homework as I have been distracted watching dramas and movies. I just watched Unstoppable

It was rather exciting too. The whole movie was building up to a big big climax and boy it was great when its a good ending. I really hate bad endings. It sucks and make the watcher feel sad and down.

Today while I was having my haircut (*sigh* my mom cuts my hair.) My mom forced me to watch Nodame Cantabile because she wanted to watch it while she was cutting my hair. At first it was so boring because it was talking about music and of all things... classical music... the worst kind. However it got better and better because I was just focusing on the storyline.

Im also reading Good Ending (a pretty good manga)

March Break? YAY! - Saturday March 12, 2011

Glad that this break finally came. I have been waiting for you for so long. When I'm at school Im dreaming about you, when im sleeping im dreaming about you and when Im working up all night, im still dreaming about you. AND NOW, you finally came. Its like a miracle. no more school, no more early mornings, no more late nights, no more work, just fun and free time for one whole week. THANK THE HEAVENS for this day/week. Lastly, its time for me to catch up on all my work.

There is one thing that I must work on and that is confidence. Confidence to start talking to her and being friends with her. Confidence to even take a glance at her. Its this confidence that I lack when it concerns her. but at other times, my confidence is normal.

I still remember how I randomly asked her about a small bottle of holy water that I got from a friend. I didn't know what it was and had confronted her to ask about this water. She didn't have a clue what it was as well and asked if she could taste it. I was like sure and she poured a trinkle on her pinkie. Some of the water dropped to the ground but thats not surprising and she lightly put it to her mouth and tasted it. Then she said it was just normal water and it was the end. I was so happy at that time. Sigh. wish that moment still lasted.

My March Break resolution, to have the confidence to become friends with her!

Night before the Test - Tuesday March 1, 2011

Its already March. That is very surprising to me because in 3 months I will either be going into university or I will be staying for grade 13. Right now, I have so much things to do, my university applications, my day school work, my night school work, my online school work, my extra curriculars and lastly my relationship. I feel so lonely, yet I don't have the time to do anything about it.

Also I'm looking forward to march break because then I can finally rest and regenerate and think about the steps I should take.

I have a calculus test tomorrow yet I haven't started studying because I'm too busy finishing up the rest of my homework. To be honest, I don't really know why I am working so hard. I have 3 university marks in:

Advanced Function 94

Earth and Space Science 97

English 84

Calculus ???

The rest are around 90s.

So basically with these 4 courses which are a requirement for university for the top 6, I will only need 2 courses left. However I am taking 6 courses right now which are Financial Securities, Economics, Accounting, International Business, International Law, World Issues. I am worried and so I have dived myself into all this work to hide away from all this unhappiness, to forget about it and just work hard and hopefully be successful.

I had decided to drink because of this, because I am unsure of myself. I swear on my life, that I will not go overboard and do drugs or smoke because that is just ruidiculous.

Graduation = Hangover - Sunday February 27, 2011

Firstly, I must congratulate myself on winning my gold award for Duke of Edinburgh. I have finally graduated from this 3 yr long thing. It was very challenging and very helpful to be honest. LOVED IT!.

After our graduation, the gold celebrated with a sleepover. But a sleepover isn't a sleepover without something special eh? yes we were in the basement all bored and stuff and guess what, the drinks came and we soon drank a bunch and I began to feel tipsy. I felt so clumsy and I wanted more. Soon, I couldn't walk up the stairs properly and I couldn't even find the washrooom yet I wanted more. In the end, I drank beer, whiskey, vodka and soho. Everything tasted good with 7up except for beer. I dislike it. We even played beer games like flip the cup and beer pong. So fun especially when your on the losing team. You get to keep drinking and drinking. Of course, we had grown-up with me supervising. YAY for sleepover.