First Job - Thursday April 28, 2011

Today I woke up at 9:30 and I was proud because I was going to attend my first job training session today. Boy I felt good about skipping for once because it was for something useful! Turns out the training wasn't even that long. Just barely 20 minutes? but I received the position of Registration Officer for the Federal Elections. Even though its only for 1 day, I'm so happy because its my first paid job. I can actually get money from this and its not some boring volunteer work where I get volunteer hours. Its money. Though I honestly am not that interested in money because it just doesn't interest me although I'm going into finance. Oh well, I guess I'm different. And so I skipped school and my friends were wondering why I came to school and skipped the morning. Haha, I didn't tell them the reason because I just found no point.

After school was the university session for the AEO for University of Western Ontario. The first thing I saw was food and tons of good food! There was so many different kinds of cookie and they were so soft and chewy. I went there with an empty stomach and ended up being full afterwards. Boy I felt like I had my dinner there. The presentation was awesome! Like it made ivey so much better than the rest but I guess he exaggerated a little. But most of all, there were actually graduates of Ivey who have become parents and have taken their children to this AEO info session. That got me a little curious and interested. Anyways the food was SO GOOD!!! LOVED IT! and definitely Western looks like a good university where I can start a new life!!!

Pissed Again - Friday April 22, 2011

Although its good friday, a holiday when we can relax and rejuvenate from this stressful high school year. However it turns out I have to spend this great day with my parents. Honestly, I wonder why I even bother talking to them. Most of what they say is either complete nonsense or just CRAP, and only at very few times do their words actually have a meaning.

I had finally landed my first job at the federal elections. Guess what my parents say, they were angry because I had to skip school. In their minds, all they can think about is marks, marks and grades. If I skip school, my grades will drop and Im gonna miss an important class. What a load of crap, practically every student knows that skipping one day of class is not that big of a deal. Why do you have to make such a big commotion from such a small matter. They are so scared that my marks will drop and the universities won't accept me. I understand their concern but really, they go beyond looking after me but looking after every single thing I do. They say, at anytime universities can take back the offer because it is conditional... as if I don't know this, that is why im still working even though I have my offer.

Unfortunately I had missed a training day which was necessary for me to do my job. I completely forgot about this training when I got back home from school and I dozed off. They yelled at me for forgetting about this when they told me this job was bad because I was skipping. Why da hell do you have to scold me for everything I do. I took the initiative to find this job and now you scold me for this? I wonder why I even told you I applied to this job in the first place. So now that I have missed the training day, I thought I was doomed and so were my parents. However I had some hope that I could still maintain the job. My parents were like, there is no point in hoping because I have missed the training. I didn't care what they say and I went outside to go talk to the election people about my missed training. Turns out they have a lot of training days and I could reschedule it. I was happy. But when I proved my parents wrong, they don't say anything. Not even for giving me the wrong advice. Like seriously, can you guyz please admit your wrong? and that I am right?

I was really happy about this job but my parents aren't. I'm like I need this as job experience because when I applied to another job, they didn't even consider me because I had no job experience. My parents didn't believe me and they were doubting how much the job at federal elections can help me. At least I get paid work, and some experience. All they can say is, this isn't worth your time or effort. Just wow, you guyz are freaking dumb and just STUPID. YES YOU ARE SO STUPID like honestly the worst and most dumb parents I have known. You can't even remember how many summer schools I had applied to. This summer, I had applied to 2 summer schools because I wanted to increase my chances of getting a good mark in english since English is a necessary course for my Top 6. My parents believe that I had applied to 3 summer schools. Like seriously, I have told them so many times its 2 but they dont believe me... One day, When I prove them wrong, they will just say its been so long ago... and all that scolding about me taking 3 summer schools would be forgotten to them. What about me? Do they consider what I feel for getting scolded about this constantly?

Why are my parents SO FREAKING DUMB Like seriously, I find no point in explaining things to them anymore because they will just forget it.

Pissed at my parents? - Monday April 18, 2011

Why must I be born in this family of picky and such miserable parents. They are the most traditional kind of chinese parents that I have ever known and see before. I have honestly been scolded for literally everything I do. Like seriously, their excuses are endless and they are just so stubborn and the typical kinds of parents who compare ur child to other very successful childs but they don't ever compare me to some fail child out there.

Anyways im not just gonna fume about this but I want to emphasize on how pissed I am at my parents.

First off, we go watch TV and its chinese news... typical... but I tell my parents that I wanna watch something else and they tell me to watch it after they finish the news. By the way... this is when its supper time and we are eating. After the news is over and I am supposed to get to watch TV now, they tell me that now that we are done eating.. I should get back to work.. WHAT IS THIS!? LIKE SERIOUSLY!? DID U FORGET WHAT U HAD SAID BEFORE?

Secondly, Im like I want to watch TV. And also, my parents had put a passcode on all the channels so basically i can't even turn on the TV myself. Its like this parental block system where every channel requires the lock to view. They tell me if you want to watch TV, u can go watch it... Even though its a blank screen (aka not even turned on) its still considered watching tv right?? Im like if thats the case, next time we watch the news. why dont we do this as well? and they just dont say anything BUT STILL the result is, I dont even get to watch TV.

Thirdly, they go on and on about how they don't see me working and Im always fooling around. I am like OK, fine by me. U wanna see how much I work? Go and look at how many all-nighters I pull and my marks before u talk to me about how I don't work. Then they say, well your marks aren't real because your always copying other people's work. I'm like sure yea, if I do copy people works, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't do well at my tests where I CANT COPY people's work. They say maybe its a fluke then? Honestly, must u always find excuses for these things? CAN you honestly admit that your wrong for once? When I bring up my offer of admissions to universities, they say most of the admissions are due to the marks and since Im always cheating my way out of getting marks.. I shouldn't even use this as an argument... LIKE DUDE. they are so simpleminded that it feels like im talking to some stubborn 5 year old who won't bother listening to what I say.

No matter how many examples I give, they just keep finding ways to make them right.

Lastly, my parents are like, why don't you work harder so that you can give an impression that your a hardworking boy. Its as if Im not working in the first place... Then im like what exactly do I get if Im being this so called *good kid*. I want some freedom if I become one, and they answer, well not all good people get freedom. If you look at China, there are those people who have suffered from those toxic chemicals used to make the food there. The people who are suffering have decided to take it to court but instead, they have been punished for raising such a pointless issue (apparently china is that way and so...) Though these people are good, do they get any freedom? IM JUST FLABBERGHASTED. IM mad at such a profound excuse too.

thats why im moving away in unviersity. NO JOKES. AWAY FROM HOME, AWAY FROM TORONTO, AWAY FROM PARENTS.

Life is boring - April 14, 2011

Im so sleep nowadays.. maybe because I sleep so late! But really, I can't help it because when I try to sleep early, it feels like I still have energy left. Then I end up sleeping late again. This cycle will never end I guess...

Fell asleep first thing in the morning during my period 1 classes, my teacher had to wake me up and in that process he commented "too much late night porn surfing"? I was so embarassed... LIKE you cannot understand being said that in front of the whole class. With 30 pairs of eyes looking at u with some kind of annoyed look, but I was innocent too. Sigh... why do my teachers hate me so much. Every once in awhile, they find something to make fun of me.

Today, I finally met my big sister after 4 yrs (maybe more) of not seeing her. We talked so much and I just couldn't stop talking. It felt like it would never end until her netbook fell and her microphone and speakers died. I also had to start on my homework because it was 3AM already. She has converted me into a Western student and boy, I am looking forward to uni life. It will be one heck of a fun life experience that I will have because I will be taking a big risk. NO more boring old me and a new mature kid will be coming to CANADA but not toronto.

Must pull myself together. - Wednesday April 6, 2011

Wow, recently, I have lost so many things. My pencil case, my binder, my identity. I have been so lost these past months because I could never distinguish what I really wanted. What do I want to do with my life? Where do I wanna go? Where can I seek my happiness? These questions and many more have been flying around in my mind constantly making me pissed off. As a result, I have been skipping classes, making my friends worry and sadly being annoying.

Right now, I still cannot answer the question about what my goal in life would be. But I can answer one question about girls which I have been dwelling upon. I really don't know why but ever since I was little, I was such a shallow boy, always going for the looks. Really, looks mean nothing now and everything is about the heart. Although having the looks is a plus! because you always want to see an appealing girl. But I myself dont have the looks either, so I cant ask for much! But I have understand myself and really, I will only care about one thing. And it is the heart, no matter what one looks, their actions, their feelings and their inner self is what I will seek and what I will love. Sounds so corny haha.

Lost - Saturday April 2, 2011

I have just spent a 2 hr ride to arrive at Waterloo to do my AFMAA and turns out, I failed it epically. Literally, I had to make up so much stuff for my essays that its not funny. I was so lost when I read the question. I reread it and from there I tried brainstorming some ideas. However nothing came to my mind and I had to rely on my bsing skills which I must say is not the best in the world. Before the exam, I arrived in the room 40 minutes early and when I went inside, I needed to go pee but the person in charge wouldn't let me and so I had to hold it for around 3 hours. My bladder felt like bursting then.. because I was nervous cuz its an exam and to put it off, my pee was accumulating too... Good thing I could hold it in or it would have been an embarrassing sight. Lastly, I felt that I can't live in Waterloo because it is such a plain school. Everything looks so plain and nothing can "WOW" me... Like I really cannot believe I can spend 4 years of my life living in this campus. Its SO BORING.

After that I went to a friends birthday party and it was great. Had some fun and made some new friends.

After that, the bad news came. I dun't entirely remember what exactly happened but my parents started yelling at me for not taking care of my stuff properly. Honestly I have had enough of this constant yelling. I know they are the traditional kind of asian parents but they are like the super super left wing-ed parents who yell for every little thing that happens. But there yelling isnt the typical kind of yelling, its a really really hurtful kind of yelling... insulting me and bashing me with their thoughts. They don't even consider my feelings and when I argue back.. it just makes things worse. Why did I have to grow up in this kind of family, when I see others with their parents, they joke around and laugh. As for me, we can never have jokes because they always have their serious face on. No laughter in the house but just sadness. This is the NUMBER ONE reason why I want to leave. I just can't take this. Its too much for a young kid like me to endure this much and have to deal with schoolwork and university choices too.

I know that I have grown up in a poor family where every cent means something to us. We won't just give up a cent for nothing and we try and save every single penny because it would be useful in the days to come. I totally understand that and how we have become cheap asians. But its something I can live with. However, they always keep complain about my laziness. DUDE LIKE WTH. Im like working my butt off and all you can say is . WHY ARE U SO LAZY. This just drives me crazy.. when they see my marks they say, it should be expected to get a 90. just wow.. what is this. IM NOT A SMART ASIAN who can get ur marks dude. I need to work my butt off for this... Do u know how much time I spent studying? Do you?

Well Screw u parents. Im leaving this house after this last year.

AFMAA - Friday April 1, 2011

Its already April and just two months before my university life begins but before that summer comes first!

Out of the 5 universities, I have gotten 3 acceptances!!! So glad I got acceptance rather than having to stay another year at my old and boring high school. Its a new life, a new being is born in this world and thats ME!.

List of Unis: (From top choice to bottom)

Ivey Western (Acceptance received)

Queens Commerce (Pending)

Waterloo AFM (Pending and need to write AFMAA)

Laurier (Acceptance received)

York Schulich (Acceptance received)

Honestly, I still don't know where I wanna go as of today still. Im still a small child lost in this humongous world. And my AFMAA admission exam is coming up in 10 hours. Im so nervous that im shaking.. haha.

Life outside this is boring. Same old high school, same old friends, same old boring school work. But I think its getting along with talking with her. Shes so funny and I really like her attitude toward things. She fills up this special space within my heart and its fun talking to her!!!!