Lost - Saturday April 2, 2011

I have just spent a 2 hr ride to arrive at Waterloo to do my AFMAA and turns out, I failed it epically. Literally, I had to make up so much stuff for my essays that its not funny. I was so lost when I read the question. I reread it and from there I tried brainstorming some ideas. However nothing came to my mind and I had to rely on my bsing skills which I must say is not the best in the world. Before the exam, I arrived in the room 40 minutes early and when I went inside, I needed to go pee but the person in charge wouldn't let me and so I had to hold it for around 3 hours. My bladder felt like bursting then.. because I was nervous cuz its an exam and to put it off, my pee was accumulating too... Good thing I could hold it in or it would have been an embarrassing sight. Lastly, I felt that I can't live in Waterloo because it is such a plain school. Everything looks so plain and nothing can "WOW" me... Like I really cannot believe I can spend 4 years of my life living in this campus. Its SO BORING.

After that I went to a friends birthday party and it was great. Had some fun and made some new friends.

After that, the bad news came. I dun't entirely remember what exactly happened but my parents started yelling at me for not taking care of my stuff properly. Honestly I have had enough of this constant yelling. I know they are the traditional kind of asian parents but they are like the super super left wing-ed parents who yell for every little thing that happens. But there yelling isnt the typical kind of yelling, its a really really hurtful kind of yelling... insulting me and bashing me with their thoughts. They don't even consider my feelings and when I argue back.. it just makes things worse. Why did I have to grow up in this kind of family, when I see others with their parents, they joke around and laugh. As for me, we can never have jokes because they always have their serious face on. No laughter in the house but just sadness. This is the NUMBER ONE reason why I want to leave. I just can't take this. Its too much for a young kid like me to endure this much and have to deal with schoolwork and university choices too.

I know that I have grown up in a poor family where every cent means something to us. We won't just give up a cent for nothing and we try and save every single penny because it would be useful in the days to come. I totally understand that and how we have become cheap asians. But its something I can live with. However, they always keep complain about my laziness. DUDE LIKE WTH. Im like working my butt off and all you can say is . WHY ARE U SO LAZY. This just drives me crazy.. when they see my marks they say, it should be expected to get a 90. just wow.. what is this. IM NOT A SMART ASIAN who can get ur marks dude. I need to work my butt off for this... Do u know how much time I spent studying? Do you?

Well Screw u parents. Im leaving this house after this last year.