Tuesday, May 10, 2011

What should I do? - Monday May 9, 2011

Lost in this open world. One lonely soul treks on this land. He's helpless and heartbroken. He is constantly reminded of that painful past and cannot move on because it lingers by. This feeling of hurt, pain, betrayal has scarred his life and he is helpless when it comes to love. His feelings have been bruised and tortured and he feels that love can never befall upon him because its never worked out for him. Neither will it be happening in the future. He has no looks, talent or even any skill that can attract girls. All he can give is his efforts and constant hardwork. When people put 1 hour of work into their projects, he would put 5. Its just a constant working working working and working for me. Although I try my best, I can never actually be the best. There is always some people that beats me and its really a total letdown. I try not to compare myself to these people but then, there is honestly no motivation for me to do anything now. Like what my parents say, im gonna end up as a hobo. I guess that's true, nothing works out no matter what I do so really I just want to give up. I dont trust love anymore because it has hurt me so much times

But at the same time, there is still small fire in me that really wants to get brighter and get bigger. But there is always this bucket of water that keeps drowning my fire. Sighhh what must I do to and what should I do... All I have ever wanted is to stay with the person that I have liked and to share good times with them. Honestly, I will give up everything for her but I guess things like this never happen.

After some thought, I think I will always hide my true feelings and never ever reveal them ever again because it has caused so much pain for me and for others. I don't want this pain to surround me anymore so I will promise myself to just keep looking forward and never ever show this weak side of me ever again! NO MORE WEAKLING. Im gonna grow and get stronger no matter what.

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