Joyful/Blissful

Although today started out rather boring, it progressed into a pretty great day. The weather was great but I was inside a library studying for my math exam. Every time I looked out the window, I saw a nice warm, sunny and great day to be outside playing sports. It just feels like a waste to be stuck inside an electrically powered room with a lamp on for the whole day. I mean it is such a waste to have lamp turned on when a window is right next to you and all the light is brightening up the room. One of my friends was complaining of too much sunlight because beside us was a really really shiny building. Because of the slant of the roof, the sunlight had bounced into the room and was hurting their eyes. Poor people but I was affected because my back was facing it. But I am starting to hate math, been studying it for 3 days already and its a pain. Although math is not hard, its just really really continuous and long. Never ending cycle of math, after I finish one question, I must move on to the next and so on and so on. GETTING SICK AND TIRED OF IT. After that, I went to fellowship and we played ultimate frisbee. Ever since I started playing ultimate frisbee, I could never throw the disk right. It kept twirling to the right when I wanted it to fly straight. BUT TODAY, I finally found out why I have been doing it wrong, I have been swinging the disk with my arm when I should be using my wrist. My disk-throwing slightly improved with this correction and it was a noticeable improvement. Gonna keep practicing until I can throw a disk far and straight. Then after, we went to play "grounders". Grounders is a game where one individual is blind and must touch another person physically or they can call out grounders. If someone is on the sand and grounders is called, they become the one blind. This is a fun yet kind of dangerous game because when you are the one blind, you hit things that you usually don't. It requires lots of concentration and patience because once you are the one "it", it takes a while to catch another person. Many of us were sweating after that and we made fruit smoothies. Best food in the world at that time, ate like 5 cups .. and it was so good. We used a bullet (a name for a blender but it is shaped like a bullet) to blend ice-cream and frozen fruit into some kind of smoothie or yogurt. Really simple and good good that you can try at home. The bullet was always full with ice-cream and frozen fruit and it took quite a while to start mixing the two things together. However, the results were pretty awesome. After that, I returned home to check my email. AND Guess what, I received my gr 12 mark back and I am extremely happy after that. I got a 97% . WOOHOO. That is 1 course out of my 6 courses done and now I can concentrate on the rest of my work.

Drowning my unhappiness in sleep

Something happened that made me so unhappy yesterday and the unhappiness had passed on to today. So after yesterday's last day of school, went to a friend's house and drowned my unhappiness at playing on a Wii for 4 hours non-stop. We played Super Smash Bro. Brawl and I chose Ike as my one and only character for the game. I continued to play Ike and improved from getting 3-2 kills per game to over 9-12 kills per game. I felt that I have improved with Ike a lot. That made me kind of happy but it could still could not lift up my unhappiness that remained within my heart. The unhappiness that exists in my heart feels like having a sword stabbed in the heart by the person that you love the most: her. I had decided to sleep it off when I got home from 8pm to 10am. Although sleeping helped alleviate some of the pain, it had also increased pain at the same time. While I was sleeping, two flashbacks kept occurring my mind. The first one was my confession to her and the second was yesterday's event. No matter how much I try to forget it, she just pops in my mind and then I am in tears. My pillow got quite wet that night but oh well, I will wash it. I think it might have tasted salty but I didn't attempt to taste it because I wasn't in the mood to. So today I woke up at 10 and rode to school. Halfway to the school, I was soaked so I biked back to my house to get a hoodie because I was wearing a T-shirt today and it was quite cold. Biked back to school to clean out my locker and returned home with 4 textbooks and 2 binders and a pile of junk. Man, my bag was heavy but biking helped reduce the duration of me holding my bag. Usually it takes me 20-25 minutes to walk home but when I bike it takes me 10 minutes which is a big time-saver. When I returned home, didn't feel in the mood to study for the exam so I slept again from 4-8pm. So today I slept 18 hours in total and now I am starting to study for my upcoming math exam.
After I woke up, my mom had made some kind of dinner and it smelled really bad. I got like a stomachache just from smelling it. It smelled so disgusting yet they finished the dish really fast. I was like "eww" and I ate bread instead. Today I ate eating a whole pineapple, eating 3 dishes of peas and 3 pieces of bread for dinner( I ate all that at like 9:00pm) but I am hungry again(Right now is umm 11:48pm). I might sleep with an empty stomach, I am starving.

1/8 exams done already.
I have finished my Gr 12 exam on Monday, messed up on a few questions but I hope to get a 97 which I got before writing the exam. I hope it doesn't drop by a lot.

1st Exam Done

FINALLY... done my first exam of the year and this is a Gr. 12 exam so that helps remove a lot of my burden. Next up, I must tackle 7 exams in the upcoming week. Almost one a day, sometimes, 2 a day but I will be fine if I study hard enough. I doubt I will though because I am a lazy boy. Lazy boys tend to sleep, eat and enjoy life which is exactly me. Yesterday night, I was busy trying to study for today's exam and after my 2 hour

Heard a very sad story which has kind of affected my life in a way.

edit later. its 12:41pm and its late.

Revived From my sadness

Although I am still kind of sad, I am not sad as before. Starting to accept life and to go with the flow. By the way, this is not about her but about something else that has made me frustrated. With her, I am happy no matter what so that is of no concern to me yet. Today, my parents decided to take me to a store that sells glasses or 眼镜店. Wow. I actually don't know the name for glasses stores which seems pretty sad. I decided to go there to buy a pair of glasses because my current glasses is terribly out of shape because of accidents from sports. I had wanted to buy some contact lens too but in the end, we didn't because we agreed that I would not use the contact lens much and it was not worth it. Better to stay with my glasses. So I felt it was a waste of time going out to go shop because after going to that store, we had to go buy groceries and more food. I sat in the car and was melting as the sun was heating up my car. It felt like an oven in there. Anyways, I got back home to watch another episode of Black and White. Again, it was amazing as it showed a professional gang rob a bank. Two young cops decided to give chase to the 4 robbers. One of the robbers had gotten shot by the cop and was on the ground. The other 3 ran to their car and took off but they called for back-up. The two cops decided to chase after the 3 robbers without calling for back-up. They left the injured robber on the ground and threw his gun in the bushes. They continued to pursue the car on feet and shot the car's tire which had popped. The car stopped. The two policemen were on the road and a car whooshes by and stops. The driver comes out and tells them to get off the road. At that moment, a van comes driving by and stops next to the robber's car. The trunk of the van opens and out comes 10 people in black suits with guns in their hands. The cops who knew they were in trouble hid behind the car that had stopped in front of them. As they got behind the car, a wave of bullets rushed by and left a bunch of holes on the car. After pounding the car with their guns they left. The cops come back empty-handed to the place where one of the injured robbers were. However, that robber had disappeared and there was a puddle of vinegar. No evidence of the robber is left and they are disappointed. However just when all hope is gone, one of the cops remember that he had threw a gun into the bush. He retrieves it and this becomes there one and only evidence of the crime. There is more but it gets complicated.
Last week, my parents had turned on the television to find this chinese drama. I decided to join and watch it as well but it had been playing awhile back so we didn't really know what it was about. This is my second episode so I am not too sure about what is going on but all I know is. This thing is awesome and I will continue watching it.
This is pretty much my day except for studying for my upcoming exam.

Failure

I ask myself this many times before and yet again, I ask myself this. Why am I such a failure. WHY AM I SUCH A FAILURE....?? WHY WHY WHY. Although I shouldn't feel like this, but sometimes, I cannot stop feeling how jealous I am of other people. I really gotta stop this foolishness RIGHT NOW and get down to business.
SO I took my daily dose of 1 and a half hour nap but it didn't help much. I know you might be thinking sleeping for like an hour is after school is over is not healthy but I just can't function after working up late last night finishing my homework. Supposedly, I should only sleep for 15-20 minutes because that is known as a light sleep and would give u an energy boost to help you keep going for the night. If you sleep for more than that amount, you will fall into a deep sleep and you should not interrupt it. When I sleep for 15-20 minutes, it just feels like a minute had just passed after I wake up. Weird feeling but when I look at the clock, I am surprised that 20 minutes had gone by and it feels like I had wasted it on my sleep. Because after waking up, I feel no difference, I feel as sleepy as before and what's more, I have to finish my work.
After my sleep, I decided to go to fellowship. I haven't been there for quite awhile and my teacher was a little worried. Today was apparently, our church's 40th anniversary and we had a guest speaker from Richmond Church. He was a pretty good speaker, not like those speakers that you fall asleep on but someone that I could connect with and understand properly. At first, he talked a bit about himself and how in his school years they still had OAC. I don't really know what OAC is but he said they needed 6 OAC marks to graduate. He decided to take the "Asian 6-pack" and had 5 OAC because he had failed one. Then he talked about the process of him applying to the universities. The first one he applied for was Waterloo and he was rejected. The second one was U of T and boom he was rejected once again. The third was York and when he was handing in his marks, the people had calculated his marks on a calculator. His marks were really low but he was still accepted. The guest speaker commented, "That was how bad the university is". No wonder York University has bad reputation. After hearing his experience he had fortified perception of York.
A good example of the pastor's pounding the gospel into our heads is about a vending machine experience that he had. Before I continue, he really liked sour cream and bacon chips and I do too. I guess we have the same taste. But moving on, he had put in his coins to buy the chips but it had gotten stuck. The first thing that you would do would be to shake the darn vending machine because you are angry that it had cheated your money. You might also be pounding on it so that bag of chip would fall down to its rightful place, your hands. This is just like how pastor's try to nail the gospel, the idea of Jesus into your head.
Another example is when you insert your coin into the vending machine, sometimes it gets stuck and you don't get your chip bag. In the case of the gospel, the gospel coin would be inserted into the machine and it is the job of the pastor to try and get that gospel coin down to its rightful place.

I hope you understand what I am trying to say because frankly, I learned quite a lot from this dude and it would really be great to have him back. I doubt that would happen though.

Last Few Days of School

As our school year comes to almost an abrupt end, I can't think back at why I did not confess to her earlier. Why did I do it so late? Why couldn't I get the courage to do it earlier? Why was I so dumb? I don't really know the answer to these answers. Just yesterday, I had confessed to her and I can still remember the moments until now. How I wish that it can happen again. However our paths will separate after next few weeks. I definitely hope to see her again. I know for a fact that she will be going to UT but she may switch schools to Western. If I ever have a chance to see her again, I will not let go of it. I will never ever forget about her. But, I feel like such a loser for doing it so late. School is almost over and its summer. Summer School will be starting soon and I must yet again continue to study and work hard.
I have been working late last night until 3:00AM in the morning because of my industrial design summative. Today we had presented this summative which was worth 30% of our final mark and guess what, we had completely bombed it. After working so late last night, it felt like it was such a waste. In our presentation, our teacher kept cutting us off and talked about examples of improvement in our presentation. Our teacher had asked for us to present our company but we had completely misinterpreted it and instead we had presented our product our cyberwalker or what is known as the "Dion Machine". Tonight I feel tired again but I have an exam coming up this Monday.
I am also kind of worried about the AF+CALC(Advanced Function and Calculus) course that I will be taking next year. I heard from people that a really hard teacher will be teaching it, next year.

MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF MY LIFE

My day started at 7:45 when it should have been 10:15 because I had my Me To We Interview. I think I did well during my interview by promoting myself as well as I could but I think I could have done better. Firstly, I myself am not a good presenter and I stutter because sometimes I never find the right words to say. I always need like some time to think before I come up with the right words. By that time, my judge would have been bored so I kind of rushed it. Therefore, to resolve this problem I am going to take presentation lessons to help me get over the fear of public speaking. After that, something marvelous happened after my lunch. Even I was not ready for this, it was as if the opportunity had happened before my eyes instantly. From this moment on, my life has changed and this will become the most important thing that I have accomplished in my whole 16 years of life. I am very thankful for this moment because I felt that I was bestowed this opportunity to talk to her. The words to describe the moment is something I cannot describe. My heart was beating so fast and it all happened so fast. At first I was very hesitant and I had walked by her a few times. But after that, I decided to hold my ground and walk up to her. The few minutes after that are indescribable. As well, I won't talk about the things that happened because I would like to keep it for myself. I might tell some very trustworthy friends but otherwise this will never get in eyes of the public. After these few minutes, my heart was beating so fast, I felt really red, I felt kind of hot and I felt so good after confessing. This has been my day. I REALLY LOVE THIS DAY and I hope to encounter something similar to this again.